Every other week, I come up with a BRILLIANT idea. An AMAZING plan for my future career which will bring joy, experiences, respect, riches, and a smart new wardrobe to go with.
Every other week I realise exactly how far away I am from achieving... well, anything really.
The latest in a long line of superideas include:
* Running an independent record label in Southsea. Mainly indie cool vinyl.
Positives - The closest rival sells olde records for a quid, whereas mine would be shiny mint ltd ed new things. Student and young people area.
Negatives - We're in a recession and everyone downloads everything! The cost of running a shop, paying staff, locating merchandise. Long hours and not much money. Oh, also I've never worked in a music store. But I have both seen AND read High Fidelity and I used to go in Our Price all the time when I was 14.
* Starting a range of vinyl art toys
Positives - I am a geek. I have a handful of Lunartik tea monsters, and two Han Solos. There is a market for toys aimed at adults.
Negatives - My artistic skills are sub-standard. No-one would buy anything.
* Writing a sitcom / book.
Positives - I've started both! And a screenplay.
Negatives - Time and social life getting in the way. Three years and 30,000 words so far, whereas I need at least 80,000 for the book. Being too scared to interview people doesn't help.
HOWEVER this is the one superidea I keep coming back to. So can people stop inviting me out in the evenings, and can work stop making me come in, and can we block Facebook, and I might get somewhere. Thanks awfully.
* Opening an ice cream parlour in Gunwharf (or a doughnut / waffle house).
Positives - support from work colleagues, or a few people said "I like doughnuts!" so that's my customer base. I like ice cream a lot. There are plenty of dairy farms in Hampshire or we could use some Jersey milk, thus impressing all the people who have hopped on the ferry from the Channel Islands. I've also found a nice dress which would look lovely at the official opening ceremony.
Negatives - I have long hair which tends to fall out at inappropriate baking moments, so suspect half the ice cream would have to be scrapped. I would also need £££££ to get shop premises, employees and a franchise. Or I would have to learn how to make ice cream, because one Mr Frosty alone would not be enough.
* Starting a magazine for solicitors.
Positives - Used to work as an online music journalist in an office full of talented individuals who worked on the financial titles and therefore know about business-to-business content, advertising, production and everything else. I currently work in a role where I speak to solicitors a lot of the time about injury claims and the like.
Negatives - There are several magazines already. And I have spoken to a number of incredibly rude solicitors before, people who seem to think everything revolves around them, and it would take a lot of effort to not write an article entitled 'YOU SMUG ARROGANT BASTARDS' aimed at the offending case handlers. They know who they are. They have no friends. This may alienate the rest of the readership as they may mistakenly think this is about them. Bad idea.
* Working as a speech and language therapist.
Positives - I like language. I like the idea of helping people achieve something. I would like to be a professional, good at my job and committed to encouraging other. I also like the idea of being on a career path which pays above £15,000 a year, but never mind.
Negatives - You need a degree in this discipline. I already have a relatively useless degree, which means I wouldn't qualify for any financial support. I imagine scientific wisdom would be helpful, but as we discovered in an earlier post, I can't even remember the boiling point of water and am concerned I would be out of my depth. Also I am scared of people.
* Going on a working holiday to New Zealand.
Positives - This is the latest venture I am excited about (rather than the book/sitcom, where I just procrastinate then regularly weep at my rubbishness). It would make me more confident. I can go abroad for up to a good year or so, and work on farms, fruit picking, mucking out horses (I have vast experience of this), or in an office, then travel round and look at Stuff. I desperately need to travel and look at Stuff. Also then maybe I could get a tattoo of a kiwi. If I ran out of money, then could just come home. Boyfriend is in the navy and is away a lot, so he wouldn't exactly be sat around waiting for me. It's usually the other way round!
Negatives - Someone still has to pay rent at home, unless I move out, in which case where does the boyfriend and all our furniture end up? Also I am scared of people and might just spend three weeks hiding under a hostel bed. Also I believe you have to apply for a working holiday vis before your 31st birthday - I'm nearly 30, so there's not a lot of time left...
The way I'm looking at it, if I don't work abroad even for just a couple of months I will regret it, and if I don't complete my book I will actually eat this laptop out of frustration.
Anyone got any tips / advice / £200,000 going spare?How do you all do your superideas? x