Monday, 22 April 2013

New Girl - Part 2

Me: "My sister's in Bali at the moment."

Her: "Where's that?"

Me: "Bali and Lombok are islands in Indonesia, so a bit up from Australia."

Her: "What's it like there?"

Me: "White sandy beaches, blue seas, that kind of thing."

Her: "I just tried googling Barley and I got a picture of some wheat."

Me: "It's spelt B - A - L - I."

Her: "I'm not very good at geography. (Addresses a guy:) Do you remember when you said Spain was in Europe, and I said where are we, and you said Europe, and I was like how can we be in the same place as Spain?"

Everyone: "Europe's a continent, like Australasia or Africa."

Her: "Africa's one country isn't it?"

Welcome to Barley! Please remove your shoes.

Him: *spins round in his chair on his way to the bin*

Her: "You startled me! Can you not move so erotically?"

Him: "What?!"

Everyone: "Did you mean 'erratically'?"

Her, slightly panicked: "What does it mean...? Oh my God!"

Monday, 8 April 2013

New Girl

Well she's not that new, but she's new to sitting opposite me, and it looks like I am in for a treat.

On the passing of Margaret Thatcher...

Girl: "Was she not very nice?"

Me: "I don't know what she was actually like, but a LOT of people didn't agree with her policies."

Girl: "Thatcher... I can't put a name to a face, so I don't think she was that important."

*   *   *

Guy: "These grapes are from Chile."

Girl: "Chile?" (She's pronouncing it like Voodoo Chile).

Me: "Chile. You pronounce it with an accent on the 'e'."

Girl: "Is it in Spain?"

Guy: "Well it is Spanish. The Americans pronounce it Chil-Ah, with more of an 'ah' sound."

Girl: "Why do the Americans do that?"

Guy: "Because of the Spanish inflection."

Girl: "So it IS in Spain?"

Me: "It's in South America, but they speak Spanish there."

Girl (rounding on Guy): "Why didn't you say that to begin with?!"