Ignorance Is Bliss

Girl 1: "I'm going to tell her!"

Girl 2: "Noooo, don't tell her! She'll laugh at me!"

Girl 1: "I'm still going to tell her!"

Me: "Tell me what?"

Girl 1: "She didn't know that baby cockatiels came from eggs!"

Me: "What?! Did you think they grew on trees or something?!"


*     *     *     *

Girl: "It was only a couple of years ago that I realised Scotch eggs have got meat in them."

Me: "What did you think the sausagemeat was?"

Girl: "I don't know... I thought it was some part of the egg. The mini ones. I offered one to my friend and she said no because she was vegetarian... I was like, what?"


*     *     *     *

Girl: "My mum didn't realise Babycham was alcoholic, until she went to a party and said to someone 'What are you drinking?' 'Babycham.' 'Oh, why aren't you drinking?' She used to feed it to me when I was younger."

Other makes of perry, or deer, are of course available.

Best Not To Know

Girl: "Oh my God, did you see that girl's cameltoe?!"

Guy: "No, I wasn't looking at her feet."

The Outback

Girl at work, after a good five months of planning and saving, on learning she has been granted a visa so she can live / work in Australia for a year:

"I don't actually know anything about Australia. I know there's that big rock in the middle."

"It's a rock, it doesn't have any weak spots!"